


Personal Information

by Queen_Kit



Series: Plunny Petting Zoo [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe, Don’t copy to another site, Exasperation, Gen, Humor, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 13:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18032909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Kit/pseuds/Queen_Kit
Summary: I’m pretty sure I told all of you that if you wanted to see me alive you’d keep my personal information private





	Personal Information

**Author's Note:**

> I got a few phrases and a scene in my head and ran with it.

“I’m pretty sure I told all of you that if you wanted to see me alive you’d keep my personal information private. And yet look at me now, stuck in hell with the rest of you dimwits.”

“But Harry all they wanted was your name.” Ron whined plaintively, it’s not like that’s personal information.

“Really Weasley?” Harry stared him down with a flat expression, “it’s information about ME that is personally identifying! That’s like the definitive of Personal Information.”

“But it’s not like it’s private, Har. Anyone would know that.”

“Not priva-“ Harry cut himself off sighing in exasperation, “I’ve been going by a different name for my own protection for 17 years! Of course my birth name is private.”

“Now Harry,” Dumbledore stated , gearing up into his best wise old man voice (that most of the teens were beginning to learn was the tone that indicated bullshit at its finest) “Your friends weren’t trying to do any harm and the information they revealed was nothing of any vital importance.”

“They told the death eaters Harry’s Birthday!” Neville Longbottom couldn’t help staring at the former headmaster as if he had two heads. After all Neville knew better than anyone else what a pile of horse-shite that was. “The madman they work for is killing every child born in the right dates for the prophesy!That is one of The Most Vital pieces of personal information they had!!”

“You.” Harry pointed at Neville, “You get it.”

“Course I get it, I’m sitting here for it same as you are.”

“I thought they were gonna kill me!” Ron wailed.

“Yes so instead you opened your mouth and got everyone else killed.” Snape rolled his eyes. “Yet another excellent show of problem solving from the Weasley contingent.”

“I’m really sorry Harry. I should have realized it was an illusion. He didn’t really act like you at all. We should have had a password.”

“It’s a little late for that now Hermione, but by all means if I ever get a chance to change it I will. You know, when rising from the dead becomes a thing for ordinary folks to do.”

“Harry-“ The young witch sounded hurt but Harry cut her off with a wave of his hand.

“Whatever else there is of the afterlife has to be better than this.I’m out of here. Coming Neville?”

Neville shrugged, “Why not. Maybe we’ll find a garden or something.”

“I like that,” Harry nodded, “positive thinking.”

And that was the last they saw of the Boys-who-might-have-been-chosen as they stepped into the clouds where none else could follow.


End file.
